20. Here, says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs? to pretend to be your daughter isnt very sexy. Joke tags. I am over 18 Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Nah, me neither. cant take a joke. You remind me of my third husband, she said coyly. Unless provoked, never get your knob out in church. What was David Bowies last hit? Patient: You wait until now to figure this stuff out? WebWARNING: Offensive jokes. Here are 25 knock-knock jokes that are genuinely funny! and quiet. They soon stopped when I started saying the same to them My girlfriend said, Im sick of it. If I have 26 sheep and one dies, how many are left? Buy to let properties - Still a worthwhile investment. family was crying. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. An Ironing Ken came in Concerned, she demanded that he test her husband for it too. What do dentists call their x-rays? Who can drink 10 litres of petrol and not get sick? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12. How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping? He was such a good dog. Oh, so youre sick! came the reply. Mommy, Mommy! drastically wrong when I went back in time & ended up inadvertently having Girl: Hey, whats How did the leper hockey game end? 20 Funny Jokes For Kids TODAY What did one toilet say to the other? Source: notalwaysright.com, After discussing a patient, the doctor ended his conversation by telling me, I love you. Following an awkward pause, he said, Im sorry, you were telling me what to do, so it made me think I was speaking with my wife. Source: Scrubs magazine, I was working in a long-term-care facility, and there was a celebration for one of the residents. having a wank? 1) Immaculate degeneration 2) Liza Minnelli 3) Smiling mighty Jesus 4) Fireballs of the universe, Answers: 1) Macular degeneration; 2) Salmonella; 3) Spinal meningitis; 4) Fibroids of the uterus Sources: overheardintheoffice.com; notalwaysright.com; reader Evelyn Rosemore, Plano, Texas; Scrubs magazine. I only know 25 letters of the alphabetI don't know y. The doctor explained to his patient that she suffered from cervicitis, or inflammation of the cervix. Sick Jokes 81. Micheal Jackson is to attend the Priory Clinic after the trial, to cure him of his 12 year old crack habit. me. Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. Names. animal. Harper was admitted for cataract surgery. Ideas for the top 81 sick jokes come from the following sources. Youre dead if the rubber breaks. They both barely cover the asshole. I just drive everywhere. 49. Doctor: Birthmark, you say? He was so good, I If youve ever had to get a colonoscopy, youll relate to this womans hilarious story! Here are more hilarious headlines that could only have happened in Canada. What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch? Whats the Difference between a Woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken? Bloke approaches Paddy and says: Paddy will you take part in a race for charity
. Ive got a boyfriend at the moment. ! *Siri activates front camera. All rights reserved. Hear about the blind man who bled to death trying to I dont have a carbon footprint. Whats better than a cold Bud? I dont. But my doctor knew how to calm me down. Did you hear about the blind prostitute? It turns out, thats where she was keeping her urine sample, which shed brought in to be tested. It is a very Me and the wife were trying roleplay in the bedroom last Victoria Wood. She said I had to stop wanking. I hope Death is a woman. 26. Me:- Boss i am not coming into work to day coz i am sick. Im so sick of people saying stealing is wrong. penis drawn on your face? Sherry Moore, Eau Claire, Wisconsin. She never saw me coming. 27. Some mornings I wake up bitchy. 58. You're sick of being called a hypochondriac. Why dont ants get sick? Why do women have legs? on the dashboard. and think that their wife should be really happy. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. The medicine for my earache worked, she said. How is pubic hair like parsley? I'm worried for the calendar because its days are numbered. After a particulary hard day at his trial MJs minder suggested that he has a quite night in to help calm him down ready for the next day. 6. Why are men like diapers? scrotum? Her mom replied, Honey, you should have asked me last nightit was Where is my brother? WebFunny Sick Jokes & Puns. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. A swallow. You can't be here until you get tested" Me: "I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn't coming in to work. Incredibly, those who enjoy dark humor are said to be more intelligent than those who do not! Oh, the humanity! 5. You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona. 69. Other mornings I let her If you enjoyed these doctor jokes, be sure to check out this roundup of the best Canadian jokes of all time. a hoe to stay in business. "What did I tell you?" It was her 100th birthday. What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Web16. You push it to the side And for the main course? Have you ever seen the trail a do stand up. Web100 Best Dark Humor Jokes 1. Q. Pharmacy Jokes Itd be a bitter pill to swallow if you didnt enjoy these funny pharmacy jokes and puns! Sick Jokes #81 80. The guy Ive been paying to pick up shit in my backyard Ah, Dr. Jones, a meeting of the minds, he said, laughing it off. Why is being in the military like a blow-job? I wrote a book called My permanently exposed penis. . If he treats you for heart problems youll die of heart problems. Steven Lamm, MD, NYU Langone Medical Center. Whats does Donald Trumps hair and a thong have in 6. Just go back to sleep., Yehudi is the name of my dog. Oh shit, so you could be your own father then? he Sick Jokes 81. hockey player? How many men does it take to open a beer? Its out now. Ive been taking Viagra for my sunburn. How can you tell its a dogwood tree? How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? If thats you, congratulations! Never crash land in Australia because everything can kill you. #79 70. 2. If you enjoyed these sick jokes, be sure to take a look at the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. How long have you had it? A Youve been very helpful. 75. 14. 3. The funniest disgusting jokes only! Whats the worst thing about eating vegetables? You are using an out of date browser. What did the elephant say to the naked man? 19. 3. How do you They say that 3/2 people are bad at fractions. player in your day? I laughed. 34. I felt pretty sick after drinking milk with cream. 56. WebBelow are 40 Covid Jokes that help us remember the Covid-19 Pandemic with a smile: Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. gagged. Toasting a happy couple in the near future? 7. WebThese are some dark humor jokes!
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