Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]. Immediately following the release of the video, the line "I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days" gained popularity within the Team Fortress 2 community. The second half of our Double Trouble Thursday features another TF2 reaction. We killed everyone and took a briefcase! Expiration Date is a movie that was released on the 17th of June 2014 to promote the Love and War Update. Please. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. [Engineer looks at her, then abandons his Sentry, which is now Level 3, to rush into the hangar. Do you have any idea what's in a briefcase that-- [Miss Pauling spots the watch on Scout's arm] --Oh, oh! medic! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Give me your watch! The Spy proceeds to show Scout the proper way to dance, while Scout looks on in confusion. Ahh- sweats nervously, [She is dragging a body. ], [The Engineer turns to the Medic. Scout: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a loaf of bread, and an ashtray] Hey, look at all this. TF2 Heavy Ya-Dadada. Spy: drawn a picture of me getting hit by a car. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. [he tosses it and draws another while the Scout giggles] A dragon having sexual congress with me. PROTIP: A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. A large fire has broken out behind it. [He smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown] Wait, nah. Exactly! is set in front of him. Heavy and Medic pause and look at the bread monster with fear in their eyes. Scout grabs a hold of her and yanks her off to one side as the bread monster knocks the bomb around. You're terrible with girls. [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's snout into his seat. Scout: [Struggling] Aaahhhh Ah UwU, Miss Pauling, you all right? Y'all ought to take a look at this. The Engineer picks up his PDA and activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. The Heavy leaves the keys in the ignition and exits the van. The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Heavy falls out of one of the bags. [Brief flash over to Spy, whose gaze returns to the monitor.] Hey fellas, listen! [The flute continues to trill in the background. He sits back down and slides out of his chair. Ooh, look! Spy: [smugly] Asking out that dial tone again, I see. [He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. More cans of BONK! She looks at him quizzically in silence. The Engineer intervenes raising his hands. The entire Expiration Date script in one discussion page. How could this happen tf2heavy. The Engineer winces while the Scout yelps and throws his hands in the air. Scout: That's why the Sergal vored him. Some of the witness corpses that Miss Pauling gathers are that of a Spy, a Soldier, and a Medic without a jacket. The Spy steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]. The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again]. He gets swung to one side and loses his grip on his gun. [The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. Spy: [chucking softly] No. Scout: Hey, hey Miss Pauling! Cut to black. He eyes it worriedly.]. Scout: Where it's going is I don't need you. Spy flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. He pushes the cart which rolls to a stop in front of the Scout. Scout: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a loaf of bread, and an ashtray] Hey, wook at all this. Here, watch this. ], Miss Pauling: [Quickly] You're ready. Cut back to the team. TF2 - Heavy Laughlong. [brings out a flip notebook] [The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. The camera goes from the poker table with the Demoman drinking, the Heavy and Sniper dozing, and the Pyro reading a magazine; to the Medic and Engineer in a lab, with the tumorized bread; and to Soldier carrying away a giant pile of bread loaves in his arms. Pressing the one button you're never supposed to press? He points both his fingers at Spy, who merely shakes his head with disgust. The bread grows teeth and roars at the Medic, who lets out a scream of fear as the bread creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. She looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in her hand. ], [He flips a page and frowns. A cigar smolders in the ashtray while the Spy unceremoniously drops a metal pail. [She holds her hand out expectantly]. He returns his eyes to the road. [The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black. [He sets a glass of liquid in front of the Scout.] He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. The reason for all of this? At 3:11, and several times during the scene, the Pyro's grenades appear sideways. Copypasta is a block of text that you can copy and paste into any chat or messaging platform. The Scout opens the door and peeks in.]. Spy: [sighing] Fantastic. Spy: [somewhat bemused] sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower. ], [Interior shot of the cab. We killed everybody and took a briefcase! He leans on it trying to force the furry out.]. ], [The Scout coughs and the Spy delicately places the second glass down. [Cut to a shot of the room behind them, which is decorated with ribbons, balloons, streamers, and various themed decorations while rocking jazz music plays. We can't. At 10:22, just as the Engineer comes to rest his arms on the shoulder's of the Soldier and the Medic, the Engineer's right arm clips through Medic's backpack. 4. ], [The Medic leans forward with interest. 70 hours left to live and counting. Soldier: [Poking his head into the cavity] Good news! The Scout scrambles to his feet and rushes forward, but is stopped by an uncloaking Spy. Klaxons start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing. Scout is busy searching for an escape route while Miss Pauling has a look of terror on her face. I need your help. It is filled with note cards. One of the Medic's pet doves ends up eaten by the monster. He suddenly looks concerned and stops eating his Sandvich. Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! Scout: [stammering] Oh g-good. She hurriedly arrives on the scene, but is infuriated upon learning that the briefcase is actually secure. I'm leaving the van now. Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard.] He suddenly looks concerned and stops eating his Sandvich. Goodbye. [The Spy raises his knife, threateningly]. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep. [he brings out a card] I'd uh. ], [The Spy shakes his head, lowers his eyes, and brings his fingers to his temple in annoyance. The Spy swirls his cut crystal glass and takes a drink whilst reading "Dapper Cadavar Monthly" magazine, as the track of the same name plays in the background. He returns the glance awkwardly. Realizing this is seven years old just hit me like a fucking truck, Jr. You are better than me. Look. Scout, are we having a prom? You did collect everyone's dying wish? The Spy draws a note card from the bucket.]. Screw you, though [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Briefcase theft, push button. The Payload cart subsequently blows up, killing the Bread Monster. No, actually, wait [The Scout is interrupted by a scream, and the Soldier flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]. This is a reference to the "Sword Van" comic from KC Green's "Custom Comix". Engineer: Well yeah. For future reference, in general and not just for TF2 stuff, there's several decent websites that you can upload images of text to, and they'll try and match the font. They wordlessly agree to jump into the mouth of the Bread Monster, which they proceed to do in the nick of time. Much. The ones that don't go for a guy like me. He returns his eyes to the road. The camera spotlights the loaf with ominous bass piano notes. ], [The Spy now walks behind the table. The Spy steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]. Well the Yeah, the thing is [Cut to a shot of Soldier, Spy, and Demo watching the monitors. ], [Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. He twirls her back onto her feet and the two start running. The Heavy still leans nonchalantly on the fridge door. At 9:47, Hydro's Introduction video can be seen playing on the smaller monitors. personal chef cost per month; your insights about the haribon foundation; rooster head french pioneer sword; prudential annuity beneficiary claim form ], [The Spy shakes his head, lowers his eyes, and brings his fingers to his temple in annoyance. TF2 announcer- Victory! ], [Cut to the Scout back at the banquet table, and he extends his pinkie out as he holds the chicken. You know? - You told me to. Ve all use the teleporter, let's say six times a day [Cut to the rest of the team, Scout is still rubbing his sore neck, the Soldier stands stoically, the Heavy still leans on the fridge door, Sandvich now half-eaten, and the Engineer replaces his helmet, backwards as usual. [Spy walks away to pour a drink. He tosses the keys in the air and deftly catches them. Scout: [A look of confusion on his face] You're not mad? Spy: Excellent. The Pyro can also be seen engulfing the monster in flames. Engineer: [Threateningly] How much? Spy: How long before thesetumors kill us? Miss Pauling: TomorrowI'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses. Engineer: [Laughing] So, we're fine. [he gestures to different parts of his body and spins around] Heh. The Heavy slowly folds his arms.]. Wait! Go [bleep] yourself. It lets out another roar.]. The mercenaries' expressions show varying degrees of interest. Miss Pauling tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, helmet falling off of her head. Later, Medic and Engineer discover that Soldier has been teleporting bread for three days. [Scene flashes back to a cheap fast food joint. [He turns abruptly. The bar has several bottles of RED wine, glasses, and a console. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and . Scout: Seven. Spy: Say that [pushes microphone towards Scout] again. A march-like drum beat plays], [Cut to a close-up of a poker table. The Soldier, confused, counts off: one, two], [He appears in a flash from the idle Teleporter. Soldier: [Leaning backwards] I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days. And this. 2. ], [Scout can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. Medic: Vell, let's see. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody. The Scout, meanwhile, bounces off the bread monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. The sergals cock is drawn in much greater detail than the Spy who is in the maw of the Sergal, becoming disemboweled with blood spurting everywhere.]. The Pyro can also be seen engulfing the monster in flames. Half-standing, the Soldier examines the bucket.]. I just said we're not filled with tumors! If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before yaWell. The Heavy manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]. [she grabs a Fire Axe and brings her face closer to the camera] So you don't go to jail. This was a huge waste of my time. At 7:28, when learning to dance, the Scout first performs the. Spy: [turns] You? You are amazing with ladies. to view the video gallery, or (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant bread monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays. The two run for the exit as the bread monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. This page was last edited on 14 October 2022, at 05:41. Ow. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. Medic:I didn't say that! The Sniper tumbles through the gravel briefly before getting back to his feet and taking out his Kukri. The Medic continues to scream as he grabs onto the bread creature and attempts to pry it off. ], [Scout can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. Both Scout and Miss Pauling look down at the wood below them. ], [She disappears off-camera. [she grabs a Fire Axe and brings her face closer to the camera] So you don't go to jail. Scout: Yeah, those are stink lines. The background music stops], (Editors note: I did not edit that last paragraph other than hands to paws. It also holds a bucket of drumsticks, red roses, a vase, and a box of RED chocolates. Please. Spy: [another sigh] Does it say you want the bucket? Demoman: Woo. . Scout and a busty, blonde haired fox are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]. He lowers the dummy down, holding onto its back with one hand as he looks up to Spy, who nods his head in approval.
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