well faster than the first rumor about me spread. last week to promote Cruella, Stone delivered Steve Martin's entire "rental car scene" monologue from Planes, Trains and Automobiles without any preparation. It was just like Hester in The Scarlet Letter. Seriously, thanks! I would slit my throat rather than say something to someone that you didn't want me to say! [On webcam] I kind of hate me, too. I used to be anonymous, invisible to the opposite sex. Screw all these people, Olive! : Brandon, just a couple hours ago, you told me you were Kinsey 6 gay. Interview: Lilah Fitzgerald Talks Dream Come True Roles in Monster High and Lucky Hank, Interview: Casting Directors Brett Benner and Debby Romano Talk Shrinking, Finding Actors and More, Interview: Jeremy Davis on Playing Olaf in Frozen, Costume Mishaps and Making the Role His Own. : It was make-believe and no one was getting hurt. Fine. No, no. Rosemary: Not to mention how have you been dressing this past few day. You gotta be sh*ttin me, sister. Oh, the Christian church recognizes the existence of Hell. I'm gonna turn you around, and take you from the back! Is that how much our imaginary tryst meant to you? Rosemary : Ask some of your friend's parents. Not that one. Brandon You're not really heading in the right direction. : Yeah. : Dill (Stanley Tucci): (interjects) A high-end stripper! I have been whoring around a lot. Olive Penderghast : How's it going? Olive Penderghast I was used to being by myself, but I have never felt more alone. Rosemary I also heard he gave you crabs. : : 1. Beat it, ese! : : Unmatched by anything you have heretofore experienced including cake. Emma Stone had a 14-hour day of simply staring at a camera doing every single webcam and narration scene for the entire movie. [faces him again] : Marianne : Just kidding! : : Tell me! : Summary: Rosemary (Patricia Clarkson in the film) tells Olive (Emma Stone) about her past. | : Oh, come on! Olive: I dont think letting Peter Hedlin motorboat you behind a Bed, Bath, and Beyond really makes you a super slut. [yells so the eavesdroppers outside the door will hear]. : Talking at an average rate of a million miles a minute, Emma Stones Olive isnt your typical high school student: Shes better. Rosemary: Any friend of Olives is a friend of my daughter. Do you wanna go out with me? The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude. A high-end stripper, for governors or athletes. I like the pants. Easy A Teenager Monologue (Olive) Easy A is a 2010 comedy starring Emma Stone as Olive. 7 Copy quote. Olive Penderghast Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. I don't know when it will happen. Olive Penderghast He said something about askin' for your hand in marriage! Everyone knows Emma Stone can memorize lines, but she surprisingly memorized a monologue from a movie made a year before she was born. The funny thing is, the whole time this all was going down, I couldn't help thinking I could have come up with better signs. Just make sure you have an exit strategy. : They sense any weaknesses, they pounce like jungle cats. Wait! (then) Well, about the sister thing, not about the Don thing. Mom! : Rhiannon Olive Penderghast [Not believing her] Goodbye, Evan. The things that make you most mad about the world tend to be the things that you hate in yourself. : I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Rhiannon Woodchuck Todd [about her business of pretending to have sex with people] : Yes, I am a big fat slut. If you enjoy, please like and subscribe and also. Well, I mean, like, do you wanna be my girlfriend? : Olive Penderghast : Which brings us to Part Two. Wait, I can pay you! I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. Ha Rosemary Olive Penderghast : [looks him in the eyes] Yea and I got pumpkin all over my dress too. : : I was just wondering what your church's stance on lying and adultery was? It should come as no surprise that the rumor that I was soliciting sex for money spread around school faster than Olive Penderghast And, *boy*, did my Terminological Inexactitude accelerate with velocity. : Olive Penderghast : : Olive: Oh, its nothing. What is with you gays? What's the rumor mill churning out these days? Brandon Character: Rosemary Penderghast, Olive's mother, is open, funny and loves her kids. I love this. : I got that "V" where you'd rather see a "P". : Rhiannon : Anything interesting? A gentleman caller, hurray! Paying me to lie for you, and calling me every name in the book. He left his parents a note that said: Eff you, Im gay.And then he skipped town with a big, hulking black guy! Ohhhhh, burn! I'm adopted. So it was time to put an end to this once and for all by telling my side of the story. : It's all I can afford. Just the rumor mill. Although, you gotta love the Quizno's guy: it's the one thing that triumphs religion - capitalism. Author of the memoir The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses. Woodchuck Todd This is where the magic happens. While this one may not have the fully realized characters of the Hughes films, it actually takes things a step further in its commentary on many topics: family life, parenting, religious zealotry, rumor-mongering and the public education system. There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency. Olive Penderghast They're Costco. Like a twig, or a branch. Ooh, I think my complete lack of allure already kinda shot that horse in the face. Rosemary Sanjay Chandrasekhar Olive Penderghast I could help, maybe. We are not friends anymore. Ah, that Roman. : Olive Penderghast [points to the red "A" on her shirt] Olive Penderghast Oh yeah! : Marianne You can have them when you get taller. Watch Emma Stone Nail Steve Martin's 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles' Expletive-Filled Monologue The original scene sees Steve Martin drop a string of F-bombs on an unsuspecting rental-car . How is that my problem, amigo? Which is every week apparently. So what's with your new look? : Olive Penderghast : ROSEMARY: I had a similar situation when I was your age. Rhiannon: I want every detail! : If you're still with me - and I'm hoping most of you are - this bring us to part 4. Seriously, a coupon? With an incontrovertible sense of humor. Does it only exist in 80's movies? : : : Olive Penderghast Brandon : Mr. Griffith: Im hearing things. Home Monologues Easy A (Rosemary): I had a similar situation when I was your age. Rhiannon Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. With Emma Stone, Penn Badgley, Amanda Bynes, Dan Byrd. Don't get mad, but Brandon told me what you did for him. : Just one good, imaginary boink! : Olive Penderghast Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. If Google Earth were a guy, he couldn't find me if I was dressed up as a 10-story building. I fake rocked your world! But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. Rosemary: Whats the rumor mill churning out these days? [sitting in a confessional booth] : : Olive Penderghast 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses, How My HIV Diagnosis Led To Spiritual Empowerment And Personal Transformation, 49 Awesome Heathers Quotes That Make Everyday Life Worth Living, 35 Clueless Quotes That Make Everyday Life Worth Living, 40 Mean Girls Quotes That Make Everyday Life Worth Living. Olive: Oh god, please dont tell me you married and had two kids with him. A comedic monologue for women from the movie, EASY A, starring Emma Stone and Patricia Clarkson as Rosemary. Rhiannon best boy grip Ulysses Domalaon . Rosemary Penderghast, Olive's mother, is open, funny and loves her kids. Olive Penderghast Watch Easy A: You Kind Of Look Like A Stripper. : : [excited] [to Evan, about their imaginary tryst] Mostly guys. Not really. I was just wondering if there's a minster around? Brandon Fine. He was a freshman in college. You must be related to me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. I could have chlamydia. : : Olive Penderghast Rhiannon But no, John Hughes did not direct my life. Arent you supposed to be eternally in love with him and shit? Girl: Oh my God, did you hear that Brandon ran away from home? Yeah, you're not really my type, either. : [welcoming Brandon into her upstairs bedroom], [about Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful of Sunshine"], [referring to Olive's alleged weekend date with a boyfriend], [while pretending to have sex with Olive and she's hitting him with a book], [after pretending to have sex with Brandon], [about her business of pretending to have sex with people], [V.O, while confronted with Marianne's mob]. Rhiannon: George is not a sexy name. Olive: Weve had nine classes together since Kindergarten ten if you count Religion of Other Cultures, which you didnt because you called it science fiction and refused to go. : You're thinking of Disneyland. Why now? Nice! Don't come camping with us, just know I hate you, bitch. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus. I was just hoping that maybe you could do the same for me? I want every detail! : bit of an understatement, guvnor! Olive: Let the record show that I, Olive Penderghast, being of sound mind, ample-ish breast size and an occasional corny knock-knock joke do enter this video blog in the case against me. Rhiannon The illusion is shattered! Olive Penderghast Dill Yeah, I know that. Olive Penderghast The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. : I don't want to know anything from you. You are on crack! : Rhiannon La vie. : : : About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . For a long time, actually a "long" time Olive Penderghast [defensive] Why are you all of a sudden into me now? Hey Olive. Rosemary (Patricia Clarkson in the film) tells Olive (Emma Stone) about her past. Olive Penderghast Well! Mrs. Griffith Woodchuck Todd The books you read in class always seems to have a strong connection with whatever angsty adolescent drama is being recounted. I mean, out to here. : Olive Penderghast : : : Fabulous! His, with a capital H. If God wanted him to graduate, then God would have given him the right answers. Olive Penderghast Sorry, I got around. Part Five: Olive Penderghast Hey, I want my Juicy sweatshirt back! Olive Penderghast : Here you go. I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. Totally. : I need to get my business in order before I drag you into it.